Sometimes.. i felt myself not setting an example to others, i never control my actions or saying.. and i always different when i'm in a service or so.. how i feel like killing myself at many times.. my wish is to be an example of Jesus.. but i always miss that point when many people are around.. its like i'm suddenly set free, and can't control myself.. well many expected me to change after my camp in Sentosa... well sad to say.. i don't want a camp to change me, but i want God to change me, well this year camp theme song is 'Let Your Fire Burn' the chorus really meant to me
'Let Your fire burn, Fan a flame in me
Let Your fire burn, Burn in me, for all to see'
I want this fire to really burn in me! Not the camp but the Consuming fire of God! To burn in me.. Well just go to say in this camp, what really God spoke a message to me was 'Patient'.. that was the thing He spoke to me most.. Well got to say i really find myself irritating, bad, heartless, selfish, self centered and rude person. I can't get over this things in a second, BUT God said 'Patient my child'.. some of my group members in the camp were asking "i felt God yesterday, but there wasn't any feeling today, WHY?!" maybe some of us maybe asking this Question. Well I had that question too.. and God spoke to me through someone saying 'you no need to feel God for God to be with you, you NEED TO ACCEPT HIM FIRST!' well.. thats what i think all of us should be doing, ACCEPT HIM!, NOT FEEL HIM!. Well there's another thing i wana share but think about it..